HOW TO BALANCE PERSONAL GROWTH WITH YOUR ROLE AS A MOM

Photo by Kristina Paukshtite

It's a fact that becoming the channel for another soul to come into this human experience, isn't the easiest job to do. I never understood why people were always complaining about the lack of time for themselves and their spiritual growth because they have children. At that time, when I heard this, I would roll my eyes and say, "It's just a lack of commitment, that's the real issue" (how naive I was :P).

It wasn't until I became a mother that I was able to really experience the beauty and the challenges of being the main caregiver of another tiny human. Sleepless nights, constant figuring out and new demands took over my life. Putting my own needs, including my daily spiritual practices on hold...

Don't take me wrong, I'm not trying to showcase motherhood as the worst nightmare you could ever experience. The opposite is true. It is a meaningful role that will take you to the next level of your personal and spiritual growth if you allow it. But becoming a mom is a full-time job and your whole life changes, creating a new schedule where the main focus is baby!

This is exactly the reason why I have decided to share my own experience with balancing my role as a mom of Zen (my baby boy) and keeping on track with my own personal growth and nurturing myself. The reality is, we as moms get so caught up in taking care of our children (mostly when they are still so small) that we neglect and forget about filling our own cups.

(No judgment about this mama, I have done this myself too! But next time you put yourself last on the to-do list, remember: You can't give to others what you don't give yourself first!)

Enough said; you may be thinking:

Okay... Yes, I relate but how do I find time and consistency when I barely have free hands from taking care of my baby/children?

This is the question Im gonna get an answer for you, my goal is for you to walk away with a smile at the end of this blog because the days of abandoning your persona are in the past, and no, you won't sacrifice being a wonderful mom ;).

1. YOU WON'T FIND TIME, YOU MAKE TIME

One of the worst ideas you can keep holding onto relates to time. Time is the same with or without your baby, the only difference is how you use it and organize yourself in order to make the best of it. Before I was a mom I had all the time for myself and scheduled my activities in the way I wanted. I had the same morning routine where meditation, journaling, and yoga were a constant practice for about 2 hours every day. After the baby, that wasn't possible anymore (mostly during the first months of the baby's life) as his schedule wasn't constant. We were adapting to his routines and sleep cycles while dealing with severe sleep deprivation ourselves... how to balance personal growth with your role as a mom?

I started to use every bit of free time I could find to do something that filled my needs. I didn't have the two hours every day for the morning routine, but I had 20 minutes of one practice every day while the baby sleeps one of his naps. I'm not doing everything I was used to, but I can keep track of one practice day by day instead of none.

Another way I learned to make time my ally is by watching, listening, or reading something to keep nurturing my growth while feeding the baby. One hack I learned from my partner was to see how he took the late-night feeding and diaper shifts into a moment of connection with himself. He would listen to a podcast or some meditative music while taking care of the baby. (In order to do this, you need to keep yourself conscious and awake. Don't try stuff that will take you out of reality and make you fall asleep!)

2. ORGANIZATION AND PLANNING ARE YOUR BESTIES:

Before Zen landed in my life, I was one of the most spontaneous people on the planet. I did everything in the flow of the day and how I felt it, but with a baby that wasn't the same reality anymore. Mostly, because babies require routines in order for them to function best. So, I had to become accustomed to routines and planning if I were to thrive instead of survive every day.

In the beginning, I found this a bit annoying (not gonna lie) but then I understood that this predictability could be good for me. Becoming organized around the stuff I needed to get done for the baby, allowed me to organzine myself as well.

I started to have a calendar with notes, dates, and times, the same as I did with my business to keep peace of mind and not get overloaded with information, trying to remember every appointment and every activity I needed to get done.

Please, mama! Do yourself a favor a set up that Google calendar!

Important reminder:

Just like you schedule all the baby and house stuff, schedule your own stuff as well. In that way, you will make sure you are doing the activities that are important to you too. You are a priority too, don't forget that!

3. ASK & ALLOW HELP FROM OTHERS

Let's be honest, we women have been programmed to become "the perfect mom". This is a common idea where we are supposed to get everything done: run the house, raise the children, be a partner, and also be productive, and have a job. Spoiler alert! Not saying we can't do all of that, but listen, mama, you aren't superwoman and you are allowed to get some support in order to do everything on your list!

From my personal experience, the moment I started to make peace with having other hands to support my role as a mom, I was able to take care of myself as a woman and as a person. This has been fundamental for my own health and personal growth. Prioritizing my own needs isn't a luxury thing, it's a necessity. This gives me the space to recharge and nurture my own persona. As a result, this has created a whole different dynamic for me and my son, in which I'm more present with him and enjoy our interaction more, simply because I'm more balanced with myself.

So, mama, every time you feel guilty about letting others support you with your children, remember: there isn't a rule that says you have to be on top of the mom game all the time; that doesn't make you a bad mom. It's important to fill your own needs, and you need others to give you a hand to create that space. Let your partner or your family help you, or perhaps hire a nanny. Get creative and create that healthy balance!

4. LET GO OF THE EXPECTATIONS & CONTROL:

One of the most important things you can learn when trying to balance motherhood and your spiritual & personal growth is to let go of the idea that everything will be perfect. Embrace the fact that there are gonna be some days when you may need to skip the personal practice and be more in the mom marathon. You may have to neglect your pre-setup schedule from time to time, and this is okay!

Being flexible and not overwhelming yourself with this, is gonna help you to keep going, just flowing, and not feel like a failure. Just keep trying and take it day by day.

Balancing motherhood with your personal and spiritual growth is an act of taking one step at a time. Sometimes things will work perfectly and other times they will not. Becoming a mother and channel for another soul to experience this reality, doesn't mean your life is over and that you can't keep taking care of your own purpose and growth. But it does require adjustment to new ways of doing. It requires creativity and patience from you in order to practice, practice, and practice until you integrate your role as a mom with nurturing your own self.

Last but not less..I want to REMIND YOU!

Please stop scrolling social media and comparing yourself to other women and their way of living motherhood. Every baby and every mom is unique, and you have what is needed in order to find what works best for you and your baby/children. Use social media as a way of inspiration, not of depletion.

© reserved Jen Cerero

PS: If this blog has given hope and relief to motherhood life :P spread the word and share this blog with other mamas! And don't forget to subscribe to my Monthly Blog Membership to receive tools, tips, real-life talk, and more to support your self-healing, lifestyle transformation, and motherhood role.

I do not spam, just love!

Love,

JEN

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About Jen

Im an Intuitive healer, transformational lifestyle mentor, trauma-informed coach, author, & mom. After facing bulimia disorder, trauma from abortion, depression, childhood abandonment, ancestral trauma, toxic relationships, and a poor and victim mindset I decided to take responsibility for my life, stop the struggle and create a new life design.

During 12 years of inner work, I discovered the importance of understanding that we are MULTIDIMENSIONAL BEINGS: body, emotions, mind, energy, soul & more. ​We need to heal and integrate every part of our multidimensionality in order to transform with long-lasting results & design the life we desire. Today I keep teaching the basis of self-healing and spiritual growth while balancing my role as the mom of Zen.

GET TO KNOW MORE ABOUT MY JOURNEY & WORK